what defines a friend?
more importantly, what defines a good friend?
i've been constantly asking myself these questions for 5 years. my good friend checklist comprises of:
-loyalty. the basics, you know, sticking up for you when you're being splashed with venomous words or even when your ego is being tarnished.
-honesty. once again the basics. the ability to be honest with me about everything. am i being shitty with you? please, TELL ME. do i smell bad? for the love of God, tell me! am i being a selifish cow? TELL ME. is my humour offensive? T E L L M E. keeping your word is a must.
-courage. in any sense. courage to be yourself, to stand up for what you believe in, to take responsibility.

i try wholeheartedly to stick by my own values. leading by example. i feel like these categories are quite broad but why the hell can i not find these sort of people?

recent events (and even not so recent events) have left me reevaluating my whole friendship circle. but when is it okay to say 'i don't want you as a friend anymore'? when is it okay to throw in the towel? when is it okay to say i'm sick of your mistakes?


a couple of friends in particular have definitely failed the big 'friendship tests'. one in particular has left me wondering, why the hell did i bother? i'm not trying to sound like i played the victim's hand or that i've been treated o so terribly. i had great times with this person but i've been questioning for years whether this person was not just a friend but a good friend. and i've realised. you are not a good friend.


you made your mistakes and i forgave you. but i know longer want to be the victim of your mistakes. i know longer want to be in the firing range of your inability to work on a two way street. you've finally given me the situation to say 'enough is enough'.


thank you, though.